You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
