If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
3pm strippers are depressing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
