dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
