remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
