evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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