This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
