We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
