He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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