Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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