I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
