Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
