I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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