We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
