no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
