talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
