What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
