woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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