How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
