so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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