K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Im part way to drunk.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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