i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
