I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
