She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize