Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
