she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
