that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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