I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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