I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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