So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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