just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
