My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize