yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
