I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
