1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
