I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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