My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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