wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
