Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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