no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
