Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
