Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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