I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
