He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
