can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize