im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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