I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My ass is underappreciated
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
