hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
