I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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