u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
