last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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