someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
