allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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