she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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