Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
