I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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