Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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