just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
