the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize