what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
