Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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